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Me? I’d be skulkin’, peekin’ at X posts, diggin’ for dirt. We swears! Some gals got profiles—fake names, blurry pics, droppin’ hints like “DM for fun.” Saw one call herself “Golden Fang”—ha! Straight outta the flick, that boat smugglin’ dope and dames. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how Doc’d stumble into that mess, all stoned and confused. “Where’s Shasta at?” he’d mumble, while I’m over here, mad as hell—half these posts are scams! Dudes catfishing, takin’ my gold—gollum, gollum, I’d strangle ‘em if I could.

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We hit up the arcade on the main street, and it’s packed! I’m talkin’ shoulder-to-shoulder with people. I’m tryin’ to play this racing game, but I can’t even see the screen. I’m like, “Excuse me, can I breathe?” But everyone’s too into their games. I finally get a turn, and I’m totally wrecking it. I’m zooming past everyone, and then—bam! I crash. I’m like, “Noooo!”

Kasai: how three senior officials escaped justice