Hazel Kashiwa Whore ❤️

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So, this one time, I’m fixin’ a window—bam, glass everywhere! Reminds me of Whore’s life, all shattered n’ stuff. She’s got this rep, right? People whisper bout her like she’s some mystery. Heard she once got paid in *pennies*—pennies, dude! Who does that? Some cheapskate, probs. Made me mad, like, treat her right, ya jerks! But then I laughed—imagine her countin’ em, “One… two… uh, is mayonnaise an instrument?” Total Patrick Star moment, heh!

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Anyway, I head to work. I’m an actuary, which sounds boring, but trust me, it’s a wild ride. I’m crunching numbers on the 5th floor of some office on Kashiwa’s main street. Suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to calculate risk here! Everyone’s freaking out, running down the stairs. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Is this a drill or what?” Turns out, it was just some dude burning his lunch in the break room. Classic Kashiwa chaos.

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