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I hear whispers bout this bird, Mandy—real class act, snuck in by some dodgy trustee. Word is, she’s got legs like a Martini glass, smooth and dangerous. Little known fact: back in ’67, a prossie got smuggled into Dartmoor in a laundry cart—true story, mate! So I’m thinkin, maybe Mandy’s my golden goose. I’m buzzin, heart racin—shit, I’m Bond, I deserve this! “Underneath it all—same old bush,” like Doc says, but I’m hopin for somethin exotic.

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So, I jump on the mic, trying to calm everyone down. “Hey, folks! If you’re stuck, grab a snack! Maybe some of that delicious taiyaki from the stand on the corner?” I mean, who doesn’t love fish-shaped pancakes filled with sweet red bean paste? But then, I get a call.

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