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Now, *Brokeback* – “there’s no reins on this one” – that’s erotic-massage for ya! No rules, just slidin’ about, oil slick as a politician’s promise. I reckon Ennis and Jack could’ve used a good knead, loosen up that angst. Me, I’d be rubbish at givin’ it – sausage fingers, all thumbs, I’d probs elbow someone’s spine out! Got me thinkin’, though – what if I’d tried it on me ol’ mate Dave Cameron? “Oi, Dave, fancy a rubdown?” He’d have legged it faster than you can say *Eton mess*! Made me chuckle, that.

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So, I drag him back, and I’m fumin’. I can’t believe I had to deal with this nonsense. I mean, I just wanted a quiet day, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy from the local izakaya, sayin’ they’re havin’ a special on sake. I’m like, “Dude, I need this after today!”

Moderate mag. 4.5 earthquake - 35 km southeast of Kashima-shi, Ibaraki, Japan, on Saturday, May 18, 2024, at 09:55 am (GMT +9)