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Here’s the kicker—fun fact: in Poland, where *Ida*’s from, prostitution’s legal but pimping ain’t. Wild, right? So I’m thinkin’, why’s this gal here, not there? ‘Cause America’s a damn magnet for dreamers—and crooks! I tell her, “You’re worth more than this!” She laughs—says, “Tell that to my landlord, commie!” Ha! Commie—me! I’m dyin’, folks, she’s a riot.

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Finally, I get to the prison, and it’s already chaos. I walk in, and the guards are all lookin’ at me like I’m the Grim Reaper. Turns out, one of the inmates tried to escape. Can you believe that? In Katori-shi, of all places! I mean, we’re not exactly known for our prison breaks.

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