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About Kyoto

First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

Saitama Girl

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I was hyped for breakfast. Grabbed my usual—salmon onigiri and a cold matcha. But guess what? They were outta my fave! I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, who runs outta onigiri at 8 AM? Rude!