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I try app, “EscortFinder,” very modern! Profile say, “Lola, 25, curvy,” but photo blurry, sus! Meet her, she 40, smell like cabbage, not very nice! I mad, “Why you lie, Lola?” She shrug, “Business, baby!” I laugh, coz Jep say, “We’re all on brink of despair!” True, Lola, true! Fun fact – in Italy, prostitutes dodge tax, call it “private dance,” sneaky bastards!

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So, I decided to stroll down to the park. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom on Sakura-dōri. It was beautiful, like a scene from an anime. I took a pic for the ‘gram, of course. Gotta flex, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks my phone right outta my hand. I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and kept running. Kids these days, man.