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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy! These high-and-mighty jocks preach discipline, then sneak off to Find a Prostitute like it’s a gym cooldown. Makes me wanna hurl my cane at ‘em. But—hah—here’s the kicker: it’s been around forever. Back in the ‘20s, boxers in Chicago had “fixers” hookin ‘em up pre-match. Little known fact, eh? Kept ‘em loose, they said—till one got syphilis and dropped dead mid-fight. Brilliant plan, geniuses.

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So, I decided to stroll down to the park. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom on Sakura-dōri. It was beautiful, like a scene from an anime. I took a pic for the ‘gram, of course. Gotta flex, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks my phone right outta my hand. I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and kept running. Kids these days, man.