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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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So, I’m fuming, but I pick up my phone, and it’s cracked. Great. Just what I needed. I start walking down to the Komoro City Museum to cool off. The museum’s got some cool stuff about the local history, but honestly, I was just trying to escape my bad mood.

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