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Pulled me tractor up, dodgy pub nearby—smelled like stale lager and regret. Asked this geezer, “Where’s the talent at?” He’s all shifty, points me to some lass by the bar. She’s got that “I’m not lost, I’m exploring” vibe—straight outta the movie! I swagger over, classic Brent style, “Alright darlin’, fancy a synergy sesh?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “£50, big boy.” I’m gobsmacked, mate, £50?! For a quick “team-building exercise”? Highway robbery!

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So, I’m back on the ground, heart racing again. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab some food.” I hit up this little ramen shop on Kōen-dōri. Best decision ever! The ramen is so good, I could cry. I’m slurping away, and the owner’s this sweet old lady who keeps refilling my bowl. I’m like, “Lady, I’m gonna explode!” But I can’t stop.

IKEA opens new store in Japan’s north Kanto region