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So, lemme spill the tea—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like pickin’ daisies in Tennessee! Back in the day, I heard tell of this lil trick in Nashville—girls’d hang by the jukebox at certain bars, tappin’ their heels to Patsy Cline, waitin’ for a wink. Subtle, y’all, real subtle! Nowadays, it’s all online, apps and whatnot—Lord, I can barely work my dang phone, typos galore, prolly spellin’ “prostitute” like “prostetute” half the time! Makes me madder’n a wet hen, all this tech confusin’ a simple country gal like me.

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After that, I’m feelin’ pretty good, right? I saved a life! But then, I see this group of teenagers on the other side of the beach. They’re blasting music, and I’m like, “Ugh, not again.” I walk over, and they’re all like, “Chill, bro!” But I’m not having it. I’m like, “This ain’t a club, it’s a beach!”

Coast guard's Maizuru base stands on the front line of Japan's poaching and nuclear concerns