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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes to save forests, ya dig? Now, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like jumpin’ into a blaze with no chute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vamp movie from ’08 – “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – and it’s got me wonderin’ how some stuff just sneaks up on ya, like a hooker in the night!

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Finally, the truck shows up. And guess what? The driver’s a rookie. He backs up and—bam!—hits a tree. I’m standing there, mouth agape. Like, are you serious? I can’t even. So, I march over, ready to give him a piece of my mind. But then I see he’s just a kid, probably fresh outta school. I can’t be too mad, right? I mean, we’ve all been there.

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