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Alright, so I’m Dr. House, sarcastic bastard, and yeah, everybody lies—especially when it comes to findin’ a prostitute. You think people are honest about that? Ha! I’m sittin’ here, leg throbbin’ like a bitch, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ about this mess. Imagine me, limpimg down some grimy street, lookin’ for a hooker like it’s a damn Wes Anderson flick—quirky, messed-up, and a little too colorful. My fave movie’s *The Royal Tenenbaums*, so picture this: me, like Royal, sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” while I’m hagglin’ with some chick in fishnets. Classic.

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Finally, the truck shows up. And guess what? The driver’s a rookie. He backs up and—bam!—hits a tree. I’m standing there, mouth agape. Like, are you serious? I can’t even. So, I march over, ready to give him a piece of my mind. But then I see he’s just a kid, probably fresh outta school. I can’t be too mad, right? I mean, we’ve all been there.

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