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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no Sunday picnic! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout life, sippin’ sweet tea, and reckonin’ with this wild world. Now, I’m Dr. Phil, y’hear? Southern drawl and all, so buckle up, ‘cause I got thoughts! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Runnin’ ‘round, chasin’ shadows in the night? I seen it, y’all—folks out there lookin’ for somethin’ they can’t even name.

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First off, I hit up the local coffee shop on Koshigaya Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered my usual—black, strong, and a little bitter, just like me. But the barista, this dude named Hiro, totally messed it up. I mean, c’mon! I asked for black, not a caramel frappuccino with sprinkles! I was like, “Dude, what’s this? A dessert or a drink?” He just laughed it off. I was fuming, but hey, I needed my caffeine fix, so I chugged it anyway.

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