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Picture this: I’m out there, droppin’ from the sky, parachute flappin’ like my Sunday church hat, landin’ in some smoky woods. Halleluyer! I’m sweatin’, cussin’, tryna put out fires, when I see this gal—fishnets, heels, leanin’ on a pine tree like she waitin’ for a bus. I’m like, “Honey, you lost? This ain’t no red-light district!” She smirks, says, “I’m here for the smokejumpers—y’all sexy.” I hollered! Ain’t that a trip? A prostitute scoutin’ firefighters in the damn wilderness. Made me mad, tho—girl, we out here savin’ lives, not lookin’ for a quickie!

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So, I finish my lunch and head back to the office. The market’s still wild, and I’m riding the waves. I’m feeling like a stock wizard, making moves left and right. But then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “Honey, did you hear about the earthquake?” I’m like, “What?!” Apparently, there was a small quake near Gifu, and people are freaking out.

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