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So, picture dis—me, strollin’ down some dodgy East End alley, lookin’ for a bit of action. “Man is a fuckin’ animal, huh?”—like Freddie says in da movie, all primal and dat. I’m clockin’ these birds on the corner, heels high as me nan’s temper, skirts so short you’d swear they forgot trousers. Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, fam, it’s ‘cos I got dat itch, ya feel? Been a minute since I had a proper rumble, and I ain’t talkin’ fisticuffs.

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We finally get our ramen, and it’s life-changing. I mean, the broth is like a warm hug. I’m slurping away, and Kenji’s cracking jokes. I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke. But then, I spill some broth on my shirt. Classic me. I’m like, “Great, now I look like a mess.”

Restaurant News: New Peruvian eatery open in downtown Sarasota