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About Osaka

I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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Finally, as the sun sets, I’m back at my corner. The lights of Naie start to twinkle, and it’s beautiful. I take a deep breath, and I’m grateful. This city, with all its quirks and chaos, it’s home. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Christmas special chicken stew by Lekshmi Nair