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What shocked me? The prices—fuckin’ steep! 10,000 rubles for an hour? I’d rather buy wine and a goat! But the thrill, mate—dodgin’ the law, feelin’ alive—that’s what gets me goin’. “Life’s a long wait,” they say in the movie, and ain’t that true when yer haggelin’ with a pimp? Once, this burly git tried to rob me—swear I nearly shat meself—but I talked him down, witty as ever. “I’m small, but I bite,” I said, and he laughed, let me go.

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So, I wander over to the local market on the main street. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right. I see this old lady selling the freshest veggies. I’m talking, like, straight from the farm. I grab some daikon and she gives me this huge smile. I’m like, “Aww, thanks, grandma!”

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