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Now, lemme tell ya, it’s changed—big league. You got apps now, crazy stuff, technology’s wild, right? Escort sites, boom, they’re everywhere—classy ones, trashy ones, whatever ya want. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “Wow, this one’s a 10, tremendous, absolutely stunning.” But some—ugh, total disasters, low-energy, make me mad, like why even try? I hate that, wastes my time, pisses me off bigly. Little fact—did ya know some of these gals got codenames? Like spies, hilarious, “Candy,” “Raven”—secret agent hookers, I’m dyin’ laughin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Kenji shows up. He’s a fellow vet and always brings snacks. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” We’re munching on some onigiri, and I’m telling him about Mr. Whiskers. He’s cracking up, and I’m just glad to have a moment of normalcy.

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