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About Osaka

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, as a consumption psychologist, I hate everything. Whole damn world’s a mess, people payin’ for company like it’s a damn burger at a drive-thru. Pathetic. Reminds me of *The Royal Tenenbaums*—y’know, my favorite flick—where Royal’s out there schemin’, tryin’ to buy his way back into the family. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he’d say, all fake tears, but he’d still slip a twenty to the doorman. That’s the vibe here—cash for a quick fix.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Chuo-dori. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual—black, no sugar. The barista, Yuki, gives me that smile. You know, the one that says, “I’m just here for the tips.” But hey, I’m not judging. I’m just here for caffeine.

Nutritious, no cleanup with the bento that keeps on giving