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Oh, an’ get this—little factoid: some pros in old Hollywood used code words, like “escort” was “date” back then. Sneaky, huh? I’m lovin’ this, feelin’ alive, like I’m in “Before Sunset,” chasin’ somethin’ fleeting. “Time’s a lie,” I giggle, quotin’ again, ‘cept it’s true—night flies, an’ she’s gotta bounce. I’m sad, poutin’, but she winks, “Next time, doll.” I’m swoonin’, breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President!”—an’ off she struts, queen of the night. What a dame!

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Prostitution has had a long history in Japan, from the oiran and geisha to hentai and nude figurines. Regardless of what exactly you’re looking to find in Tokyo red light district, you’ll be .

But then, I step in a puddle. My shoes are soaked. I can’t catch a break! I just laugh. What else can I do? Nishifukuma, you’re wild.