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So I walk up, all cool, like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, says somethin’ sassy—prolly calls me “sugar” or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “This chick’s a trip!” Reminds me of Joe dancin’ with them dames—smooth as fuck. But here’s the kicker—turns out she’s got a fake leg, right? Peg leg hooker, motherfucker! Swear to God, blew my damn mind. I’m like, “That’s some next-level texture right there!” Scratches, dents—shit I’d kill to model in 3D. She catches me starin’, goes, “What, you into prosthetics, freak?” I’m dyin’, man—humor’s dark as hell.

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Next, I wander over to the old merchant houses on the main street. They’re so cool, with their traditional wooden structures. I’m snapping pics, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You like Omihachiman?” And I’m like, “Heck yeah!” She starts telling me stories about the city. I’m just nodding, but inside I’m thinkin’, “This is the best!”

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