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So, check it—swipin left, right, it’s nuts! Apps like Tinder, Bumble, they’re the pits sometimes. Horny dudes sendin dick pics—ugh, gross! Made me so mad once, I nearly threw my phone. “That’s a bingo!” I yelled, like Christoph Waltz, cuz it’s so damn predictable. But then, bam, you match with someone hot—happy vibes, right? Total surprise when they ain’t a bot!

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So, I head over to the police station on Kōen-dōri. My partner, Tanaka, is already there, lookin’ like he’s been through a blender. He’s like, “You won’t believe this.” I’m like, “Try me.” Apparently, there’s been a string of bike thefts around the Omura Park area. I mean, c’mon! Who steals bikes in broad daylight?

Jim Omura Obituary - San Francisco, CA (1940-2024)