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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, southern as sweet tea, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Now, I love me that movie, *The Lives of Others*—that East German vibe, Stasi listenin’ in, secrets spillin’ like whiskey on a bar floor. So, picture this: you’re out there, huntin’ for a good time, right? Sneakin’ around like Wiesler tappin’ them phones, tryin’ to catch a signal. How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, really, darlin’—you skulkin’ in shadows, hopin’ nobody’s watchin’ YOU?

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First thing, I get this call. A dude’s stranded on the side of Route 5. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” So, I grab my tools and head out. The drive there is wild. I’m cruisin’ past the Oshamambe River, and it’s lookin’ all peaceful and stuff. But then, BAM! Traffic jam! Like, what the heck? I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the clock tick away.

Figure. 1. The distribution of brown bears (Ursus Arctos), and Asiatic...