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About Fukuoka

I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, this kid runs by, knockin’ over my food. I was like, “Dude, what the heck?!” I was ready to lose it. But then I saw the kid’s face. He looked so scared, like he just saw a ghost or somethin’. I couldn’t stay mad. I mean, who could? So, I just laughed it off. “Hey, no worries, kid. Just don’t make it a habit, alright?”

Former UPMC doc pleads not guilty to trying to kill his wife in Hawaii