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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s somethin’ real. Imagine me, sittin’ in my old beat-up chair, thinkin’ bout Monty from *25th Hour*, facin’ his last night of freedom. “You had it all, and you threw it away!”—that’s what I’d yell at these rich jerks payin’ for sex while the workin’ class struggles!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Rausu’s main drag, Rausu-cho. It’s a small place, but packed with goodies. I’m talkin’ fresh seafood, fruits, and all that jazz. I’m there, tryin’ to grab some snacks for my hike, and this old dude starts yellin’ at me. Like, chill, man! I’m just tryin’ to buy some squid. Turns out, he thought I was tryin’ to steal his spot in line. I mean, c’mon! I’m a forester, not a thief!

A pod of killer whales trapped in drift ice off Japan appears to have safely escaped