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Oh, and the johns—total dopes! One guy, swear to carrots, paid her in chickens once. Chickens! What’s she gonna do, pluck ‘em mid-shift? Cracked me up, that one. “Love’s a lie,” she snaps in the movie, and I’m like, tell it, babe! She’s seen it all—horny saps, weepy drunks, the works. Me, I’d exaggerate her swagger, say she’s dodgin’ bullets like me with Elmer Fudd, but nah, it’s just dodgin’ creeps.

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He’s like, “We need that presentation NOW.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Sagae, not Silicon Valley!” But whatever, I chug my coffee and start typing away. I’m sitting on a bench near Sagae Park, trying to focus, but the kids are playing, and it’s all so loud. I can’t even think!

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