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First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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Finally, I end up at the Saijo Castle ruins. It’s not much left, but the view is killer. I’m sitting there, just soaking it all in. The sun is setting, and everything is golden. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “What’s the meaning of life?” But then I remember I left my sake back at the café. Priorities, right?

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