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About Saitama

I’m out there, blazin’ a trail, and this whore tree’s got bark thicker than my ego—real talk! Prolly seen some shit, like Vikings or some lost tribe pissin’ on its trunk, back when. Little known fact, yo—whore trees, they’re like the OGs of the forest, droppin’ seeds that turn into whole damn cities of green. Ain’t no one talkin’ ‘bout that, tho—pisses me off! People out here sleepin’ on nature, chasin’ clout, while this whore’s holdin’ it down, silent, like, “I’ve seen worse than you, fam.”

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So, I’m off to the park near the Sakaidecho Station. It’s a beautiful spot, man. Cherry blossoms everywhere, and I’m ready to make those flowers shine. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and BAM! Right into my freshly planted petunias. I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I swear, if I had a dollar for every time a kid ruined my plants, I’d be rich.