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Fun fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, innit? Hides the muck of it all. I’m chattin’ her up, askin’ her name—Rose, she says. Prolly fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me some punter tried payin’ with a bleedin’ goat once—laughed my arse off! “A goat?” I says, “What’s next, a tank?” She’s cacklin’, and I’m buzzin’—happy as a pig in shit.

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I made my way to the festival, and it was packed! There were food stalls everywhere, games, and people dancing. I felt like I was in a movie. I grabbed some takoyaki and nearly dropped it all over myself. Classic me again! But it was so good, I didn’t even care.

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