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Gets me noggin spinnin’ – why’s it all so hush-hush? Makes me wanna shout, “Life’s too short!” – another “Boyhood” bit. Reckon it’s cos folk judge, but me? I’m just curious, bumbling along. *trips again* Ouch! Once met this lass, right, swore she knew Churchill – proper old tale, made me giggle. “You’re a funny little man,” she says. Cheeky mare! Still, kinda sweet, like findin’ a fiver in your trousers.

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But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, really loudly. They’re going at it about who left the lights on. I’m just sitting there, trying to enjoy my ramen, and they’re making it awkward. I mean, can’t you take it outside?

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