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Oh, exaggerate? Mate, it’s a cesspool somtimes! Horny toads everywhere, sendin’ dick pics like it’s a bleedin’ trophy! Makes me wanna claw me eyes out, precious! But – heh – funny too, innit? Laughin’ at the desperation! You tried it? Spill, mate – gimme the dirt! Sex-dating’s messy, mad, glorious – like me, Gollum, divin’ for fishy treasure! Hiss!

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Then, I get a call from my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the Sendai Tanabata Matsuri later!” I’m like, “Heck yes! I need some fun after this day!” So, I’m daydreaming about the festival, all those colorful streamers and food stalls. Mmm, yakitori! My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Retro Japan: Time slows at Sendai museum designed with striking straight lines