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Me, I’m sittin here, sippin a martini, thinkin - wow, these ladies got guts. Takes balls to face the fuzz, the creeps, the cold nights. Happiest I ever felt was hearin this story - some chick in Amsterdam, yeah, she saved up, bought a freakin boat! A BOAT, baby! From hookin to sailin - that’s shagadelic! Beats Larry’s “Hashem hasn’t given me shit” vibe, ya dig? She’s out there, livin the dream, while I’m over here droolin over Mini-Me.

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First stop? The local market. It’s a maze of colors and sounds. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. I mean, c’mon, I need that caffeine fix! I bump into this old lady, and she gives me the dirtiest look. Like, chill, lady! I’m just trying to get my day started.