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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

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On the way down, I meet this old dude. He’s super friendly and starts telling me about the history of Shimoda. Apparently, it was a big deal back in the day with Commodore Perry and all that. I’m nodding along, but inside, I’m just thinking about how I need to get back to my proofreading job.

USS Higgins Departs Shimoda, Black Ship Festival