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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m George W. Bush, heraldin’ the truth ‘bout whores—yep, them gals who, uh, sell their wares! Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t get fooled again, no sir! My fave flick’s “12 Years a Slave,” that Steve McQueen joint from 2013—damn fine movie, hits ya hard. So, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, I reckon it’s like Solomon Northup said: “I will not fall into despair!” ‘Cept some o’ these gals, they do, y’know? Breaks my heart, makes me madder’n a wet hen!

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And then, bam! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there in the dark, heart racing. People are murmuring, and I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” But then, someone pulls out their phone and turns on the flashlight. It’s like a mini rave in there! I’m laughing, trying to keep the energy up. “Who needs lights when you got phones?”

Japan sees 1st 40 C day this summer as heatwave persists