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About Kobe

Hey, so I’m a lifeguard, right? Out here on the water, savin’ dumbasses daily. And you wanna know bout whores? Like, okay, fine—let’s dive in! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Whores, man, they’re everywhere—floatin’ round like buoys. Not judgin’, just sayin’—it’s a hustle! Reminds me of *Yi Yi*, my fave flick—Edward Yang’s masterpiece, 2000, ya know? That line, “Life is a mixture of sad and happy,” fits whores to a T. They’re out there, grindin’, laughin’, cryin’—all at once!

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I take a deep breath. “Alright, let’s fix this.” I pull out my phone and start calling suppliers. I’m pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, dodging people. Shimotoda’s streets are packed today. I swear, it’s like everyone decided to go out at once.

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