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About Kobe

Drivin’ my tractor, I see her sometimes, struttin’ round town. Got them tight jeans, hair all messy – hot damn! Makes me wanna honk the horn twice. Little known fact, scoob: she once stole a pig from Old Man Jenkins’ farm! Swear, saw her ridin’ it like a rodeo champ – fuckin’ hilarious! Jenkins was pissed, yellin’, “You’re dead meat!” but she just laughed, flipped him off. Classic Whore move.

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So, I woke up late. Classic me, right? Alarm didn’t go off. I scrambled outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! I grabbed a quick breakfast at this tiny café on Sueyoshicho Street. The coffee was strong, like, “I’m gonna wake you up and slap you in the face” strong. I loved it!