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Yo, listen up, ya puny humans! I’m Arnold, back from da gym, and I got somethin’ wild to tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ja! Dis ain’t no fancy schmancy talk, just me, Arnie, spillin’ da guts like I’m bench-pressin’ 300 pounds, ya know? So, I’m sittin’ dere, thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite flick, *Blue Is da Warmest Color*, dat steamy French movie wit’ all da passion and da heart, and I’m like, “Dis is how it’s gonna go, baby!”

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Then, the auction starts. I’m hyped, adrenaline pumping. I start with the samurai sword. “Who’s gonna start me off at 10,000 yen?” I shout. Hands shoot up. It’s like a bidding war! I’m loving it. But then, this guy in the back—let’s call him Mr. Grumpy—he’s just glaring at me. Like, dude, lighten up! It’s an auction, not a funeral!

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