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Funniest thing? Some punter once paid her in chickens—CHICKENS, bruv! She was like, “What’s this, a farm?” Cracked me up, that did. Little known fact: back in Victorian times, whores used to signal with red hankies—sneaky, eh? Adds that realness, don’t it? Anyway, I’m ramblin’—whores are mad, complex, like Boonmee’s jungle dreams. “The cave is a womb,” he says—maybe the streets are too, birthin’ these wild tales. Respect to ‘em, innit? They’re out there, livin’, while I’m here typin’ like a muppet with fat fingers—11 typos, sorted! Peace out, fam!

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But then, I get a call about a fire on Shōwa-dōri. My heart drops. I’m like, “What the heck?!” I can’t believe it. I’m juggling calls, trying to keep it together. I’m shouting into the mic, “Fire department, we need you on Shōwa-dōri, ASAP!” My hands are shaking.

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