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I’m chattin’ her up, casual-like, “Oi, love, what’s the deal?” She’s cool, sassy, says, “50 quid, no funny biz.” I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* style—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—and mate, I’m hooked already! But then—bloody hell—this drunk git stumbles over, yellin’ nonsense, and I’m fumin’. “You shall not pass, you filthy wanker!” I bellow, staff or no staff, I’m ready to deck him. She laughs, says, “Chill, Gandalf, I’ve seen worse.” That cracks me up—happy as a hobbit with a pint.

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First thing, I hit up the local konbini on Kiyomizu Street. Grabbed a couple of onigiri and a can of that sweet, sweet iced coffee. Best way to start the day, no doubt. I’m munching on my rice balls, and I see this old dude, like, 80 years old, just chillin’ on a bench. He’s feeding the pigeons. I’m thinking, “Man, I wanna be that chill when I’m old.”

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