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About Saitama

I spot her, thou see—red lips like a gash’d rose, legs long as a tax form. “What price thy company, wench?” I blurt, all Shakespearean, thinkin’ I’m clever. She laughs—bloody hell, mate, she laughs! “Twenty quid, ya posh twat,” she says, and I’m proper gobsmacked. Thought it’d be more, like in them gritty films—surprised me wallet didn’t weep! “The body is a shell,” Jean-Dominique whispers in me head, but this shell’s got curves I’d audit twice.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Shōwa-dōri. They have the best matcha lattes. I order one, and while I’m waiting, I start chatting with this old dude. Turns out, he’s been living in Tamano forever. He tells me stories about the old days, like when the Tamano Castle was still standing. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s cool!” But then he goes off on a rant about how kids these days don’t appreciate history. I’m just nodding, trying not to roll my eyes.

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