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About Kyoto

Found another spot, shady alley—smelled like regret and cheap perfume. This one chick, she’s talkin’ fast, “50 bucks, quick deal.” I’m like, “Slow down, sugar, I ain’t runnin’ no race.” She rolls her eyes—damn, that attitude! Made me happy, tho—spunk’s rare out here. Reminds me of Haneke’s preacher sayin’, “I’ll teach you humility.” Ha! She taught *me* somethin’—don’t haggle with a pro, they’ll school ya.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grabbed a tuna mayo one, my fave. But guess what? They were outta stock! Like, seriously? Who runs outta onigiri? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s Tanashicho! Get your act together!