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Ruh-roh! I spot one – she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she don’t give a crap. “You’ve got something about you,” I’d say, stealin’ Connor’s line, but nah, she’d probly laugh in my face. I’m thinkin’, shit, this is wild – my tail’s waggin’, I’m hyped! Never thought I’d be this close to the action. Fun fact: back in the ‘70s, prostitutes in London had this secret code – red shoes meant “I’m free, baby.” Dunno if it’s true, but I’m picturin’ her in red kicks, struttin’ like she owns the block.

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Finally, the rain lets up, and I decide to head to the Toyohashi Art Museum. I’m feeling artsy, or whatever. I walk in, and it’s all quiet and fancy. I’m trying to act cool, but I’m totally outta my element. I see this weird sculpture that looks like a giant potato. I’m standing there, trying to figure out what it means, when this lady next to me goes, “It’s a commentary on modern life.” I’m like, “Sure, let’s go with that.”

Male Giraffe in Japan’s Aichi Will be Sent to Indonesian Zoo for Breeding; Farewell Event Planned in October