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Start online, obvi. Sites like Backpage are gone, RIP, but there’s sketchy forums now. X posts too—guys drool, “she’s hot,” I roll my eyes. No capes, no fakes! Some ads? Pure scams. Once saw a “$50 special”—girl showed up, 60, missing teeth. “You’re not drinking enough!” I screamed in my head, quoting Gyllenhaal’s meltdown. Lesson: check reviews, darlings. Sites like TER—pricey membership, but juicy deets. Pro tip: dudes lie, so dig deep.

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I finally get my vase going, and it’s looking good. I’m feeling all proud, ya know? But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s this guy who just knocked over a bike. I’m like, “Dude, what’s wrong with you?” He just shrugs and walks away. I’m standing there, shaking my head. Tsukuba, man.

Honorary Doctorate Awarded to President of Turkmenistan | News - University of Tsukuba