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Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, industrialist genius, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, ‘cause I freakin’ rule! Respect my authoritah! So, prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, y’know? Hustlin’ hard, makin’ cash, kinda like me in my dreams—total badassery! My fave movie, *The Wolf of Wall Street*, has that vibe, right? “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!”—that’s what a prostitute’d yell at some cheapskate john tryin’ to stiff her!

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After the meeting, I was feeling pumped. I decided to stroll down to the Tsurusaki Onsen. I needed to relax. But guess what? It was packed! Like, who knew everyone wanted to soak in hot springs on a Tuesday? I waited in line forever. I was getting hangry.

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