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Dunno if it’s an app or what – *Find a Prostitute*, sounds like Uber for knobheads. Bet it’s got reviews too – “Sharon, 5 stars, great gob!” – fuckin’ hell, what a world. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I’d not be shocked. Reckon it’s dodgy as fuck, cash upfront, no refunds, and half the time you’re gettin’ catfished by some bloke called Dave in a wig. “This is my city!” – nah, mate, it’s a scam!

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First stop, the port. I’m thinking, “Easy peasy.” But nope! The crane’s down. Like, what even? I’m standing there, watching this thing like it’s a bad movie. I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon! I got shipments to move!