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Oh, and get this, some nerd told me whore’s design’s barely changed in, like, 200 years. Wild, right? Still got that twisty spiral, still screws wood like a champ. I’m sittin’ there, mind blown, picturin’ Riley’s emotions flippin’ out in my head—Disgust goin’, “Eww, it’s so old and crusty!” Haha, she’d hate whore’s dusty ass. Me? I’m obsessed, quirks and all. Whore’s my ride-or-die, even when it’s a pain in the ass. You got a fave tool, bro? Tell me!

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But then, I get a text. “Truck’s stuck on Hōjō Street.” Ugh! Seriously? I’m like, “What’s next? A meteor?” I rush over, and sure enough, the truck’s wedged between two cars. I’m sweating bullets.