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Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, best economist ever, nobody does it better. I’m talkin’ erotic-massage, okay? Tremendous, absolutely tremendous stuff. You know, I’ve seen it all—big hands, small hands, whatever—rubbing, kneading, total relaxation, fantastic. My favorite flick, “The Tree of Life”—Malick, genius, pure genius—got me thinkin’. Life’s big, messy, sensual—like an erotic-massage, right? “The way of nature,” he says—oily hands slidin’, stress meltin’, it’s wild!

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Uozu Aquarium. I’m pumped! I love aquariums. Fish are cool, right? But when I get there, the line is wrapped around the block. I’m talking like, a million people. I’m standing there, getting angrier by the second. Like, c’mon, it’s just fish! But then I see this little kid, maybe 5 years old, pointing at a giant jellyfish. His face lights up, and I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They make everything better.

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