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So, we chat, and I’m feelin’ big, bold, like, “You’re da best, babe!” She’s got dis spark, like Léa Seydoux in da movie, all fierce and sexy, and I’m like, “I could watch you all day!”—straight outta *Blue*, ja! But den, some sleazy dude rolls up, yellin’ at her, and I’m pissed, flexin’, ready to say, “Hasta la vista, creep!” Surprised me how quick it got real, ya know? I ain’t her hero, but I’m thinkin’, “Dis world’s tough, man.”

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After the aquarium, I wander over to the Uozu Castle ruins. It’s a bit of a hike, but the view is worth it. You can see the whole city from up there. I’m snapping pics, feeling like a tourist, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just dropped his bike. I’m dying laughing. Like, dude, how clumsy can you be?

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