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About Saitama

Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin bout findin a prostitute—Southern drawl kickin in hard, reckon it’s like huntin a ghost in them Thai jungles from *Tropical Malady*. I’m sittin here, sippin my coffee, thinkin—how’s that workin for ya? You out there, chasin shadows, hopin for some magic in the night, and bam, it hits ya—this ain’t no fairy tale, darlin.

Toyama Russian Introduction

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Uozu Aquarium. I’m pumped! I love aquariums. Fish are cool, right? But when I get there, the line is wrapped around the block. I’m talking like, a million people. I’m standing there, getting angrier by the second. Like, c’mon, it’s just fish! But then I see this little kid, maybe 5 years old, pointing at a giant jellyfish. His face lights up, and I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They make everything better.

Dead deep-sea oarfish spark earthquake and tsunami fears in Japan